I have a plan.
It makes me excited and nervous and thrilled all at once.
It may not look like I want it to yet but I’m realizing this is all a process.
Everything I don’t like about my life is a lesson.
It’s setting me up for something greater than I can even imagine.
The other day I was meditating and a voice clear as day-my voice– said to me “believe in yourself, and the rest will follow.”
I’m so glad I disregarded the opinions of those not meant for me and continued meditating and having these divine, spiritual experiences.
But I digress.
I can do it.
I can cast off the bowlines and sail into the great, big, wide unknown.
Everything wonderful that has ever been done has been done with a certain degree of uncertainty. In fact, everything wonderful that has ever been done has been done with a humongous degree of uncertainty.
Within vulnerability lies growth.
Everything wonderful lies outside of your comfort zone.
It’s so easy to accept a ho-hum life because it’s safe. Safety feels good. Risks don’t. Risks don’t feel good at all, in fact, it’s the outcome of taking the risk that often feels good.
I have a plan.
I’m not going to share that plan here on my blog. I’m writing to the blogiverse from my yoga mat, pre-practice, and it’s all coming together for me.
My holistic life coach was right all along, even though, in the midst of my darkest hours, I sometimes doubted her. I trusted her because she’s such a good role model, but from where I was a couple months ago, feeling like this didn’t even feel possible. I felt hopeless and utterly lost. I didn’t know my passions, and I felt like a complete and utter failure.
I don’t feel like that any more.
Now I believe the life I desire to live is entirely within my reach. It’s possible to have all I want and more.
My problem is impatience. Actually, that’s a lot of our problem- in today’s world we’re so used to instant everything. When something doesn’t happen immediately for us, we assume our methods aren’t working, and we give up. You can’t give up.
I just deleted “aren’t you proud, Shayna?” because I already know the answer. I owe so much of this to her that I’m so beyond grateful I stepped out of my comfort zone (see?!) that one day and went to a networking group meeting where my oldest friend introduced us. Stepping out of my comfort zone that one time led to an introduction that literally changed my life. I’m lucky and proud to call her my coach and a friend.
For the first time in a long time, a long, long time, I feel confident moving forward in regards to my career and my financial future. I may not know exactly how, but I’m figuring out exactly what, and I couldn’t be more thrilled.
I think back to second-semester senior year, when I finally achieved senior status and would be graduating after working my ass off for three years trying to graduate “on time.” There’s nothing wrong with taking longer than four years to finish college, but I wasn’t interested in adding onto my debt and I wanted to start my real life already. I probably had a breakdown about it once a week. And then I didn’t want to be a social worker, which is what I had pursued so wholeheartedly. I was lost again, clutching a very expensive piece of paper.
I have no regrets about my studies at college, by the way. Sociology and psychology still fascinate me, and I learned a lot. I still read sociology and psychology books, you know, and I still use my knowledge every day.
I fell backwards into finance. I learned a lot, and continue to learn a lot, but I know it’s not going to be my career. It’s temporary. But I show up passionately anyway.
I feel like I’m in the midst of an epiphany.
In summation, I have a plan. I have a goal. I’m listening to that little voice in my head called intuition and it’s leading me somewhere I can be proud of. Somewhere that suits me. Somewhere that matches the life I want to lead, the everyday feelings I want to have, the everyday activities I want to do.
*You know those times where you just have to get everything you’re thinking out and into the Universe? This was one of those times. If you read this, thank you. Thank you for being part of my journey.
So this post isn’t entirely about me, here are some books that I feel have helped me reach this place:
- The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be and Embrace Who You Are by Brené Brown
- Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brené Brown
- Light Is The New Black: A Guide To Answering Your Soul’s Callings and Working Your Light by Rebecca Campbell
- You Are A Badass: How To Start Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero
Click here for Brené Brown’s TED Talk on vulnerability.