I’m growing tired of being talked about on the Internet. I’ve seen enough false information floating around that I felt like I finally needed to put my voice (or as the case may be, my keyboard) into the mix so hopefully it clears up my condition and I never have to log online and see misinformation being spread about me ever again.
I am a very private person, so when I see myself being discussed I get irritated. Especially because this is such a private, intimate, life altering thing I’m going through right now, I feel I should be the one who chooses what information is shared. It’s not my idea of a good time seeing my suffering plastered on the internet for people I don’t know to become a part of. I really don’t want that. If you’re reading this and know my Grandpa Ted, you can imagine how my (intense) gene pool contributed to those feelings.
So anyway, I’m here to share a little bit of what happened and where I am now, so maybe people will stop talking about me and start talking to me.
- No one knows exactly what happened, and speculating is uncool.
Here’s what I remember: I saw my sister take her jetski over a wave. I remember thinking “how am I going to get over this?” as it began to crest next to me and the next thing I remember is sitting in the dirt, crying, asking my sister what happened to me. Please, for the sake of my recovery, keep your theories to yourself. There are a million different ways my accident could have occurred, and when you bring them up, it makes me put myself back there imagining myself in every single one.
The truth is no one knows what happened, and no one ever will. I’m comfortable with that. I believe my mind and body blocked out what happened because it was so traumatic, that if I had truly known what was going on at the time, perhaps I would have given up the fight. Maybe that, or maybe I was just hit that hard over the head, or maybe it was a combination of medical and psychological trauma. I don’t know, and I don’t like thinking about it, so please let’s stop talking about what might have happened and focus on the present.
- I didn’t drown.
I saw some posts mentioning that I had drowned. Nope. If I had drowned, I wouldn’t be here writing this. It was called a near-drowning. I was without oxygen for, ahem, no one’s business but mine and my neurologist’s, and my dad pulled me from the ocean and saved me. That’s all anyone needs to know, and I think that’s more than enough.
- I don’t think my injuries are anyone’s business.
What EXACTLY happened to my body is between me and my doctors. My parents, my sister, and my fiancé are the only people I feel comfortable sharing the extent of it with, and none of them probably have a grasp of the whole thing anyway. It is my experience, it is my recovery, and I don’t need the world to know what bones I broke, how long I’ll need braces, how my mind is healing, etc.
I get that people ask because they care. I understand that. This goes back to my privacy comfort level- I want a lot of it. All anyone really needs to know is that I’m going to be just fine, and I’m healing quickly. And if you truly care, that should be more than enough.
- I don’t think my medication or recovery journey is anyone’s business.
Am I taking painkillers? Do I have to have plastic surgery? Am I going for a more natural approach? How many surgeries did I have? How much were my medical bills? These questions and more are questions you’ll only get the answer to if you ask me and if I feel like sharing. Which I might not, and that’s my prerogative, homie.
- The accident occured on the second day of our trip.
I get asked this a lot so here it is for the world to see. I know, it sucks, let’s move on.
- Yes, I do plan to go back, and yes, I do plan to ride a jet ski again.
Going back to Costa Rica is definitely going to happen-hopefully in the next couple of years- and I’d love to get on a jet ski again. I don’t know if I could right now, but I hope someday.
- Most importantly, I’m going to be fine.
Luckily you can’t really tell by looking at me I’ve been in an accident anymore. But, I am not all better. I am still healing, I am still coping, and I am slowly getting back to my old self. The thing is, though, I’ll probably never get back there completely. This accident changed me. I’m never going to look the same, and my attitude is never going to be the same either. I’m tougher now. I’m willing and able to fight for myself and what I believe in because now I’ve proven to myself that I can in even the most dire of situations. Everything else compared to that is gravy.
If someone asks about me, tell them what I would: It’s a long road to recovery, but I’m traveling with with an amazing support system and I’m going to be just fine. That’s the important part.
I don’t mean for this to come off bitchy or rude or anything. I am supremely grateful for those of you who have extended your well wishes, prayers, good vibes, time and energy to help me heal. I appreciate that more than I could ever make known, I think. What I’m trying to stop is the spreading of false information about me, or hell, even the spread of too much information about me. I sometimes think in the age of technology we lose a level of intimacy, but that’s a speculation for another time. The point is, it is my life, they are my injuries, and this is my recovery. I should be the only one who determines what information gets out about this process, and lately I haven’t been, so I’m here to attempt to put a stop to it. Thank you for reading.