“Can I see the dress?”
Unless you’re super close or a family member, don’t even ask. Most brides want that big reveal on their wedding day in front of their closest family and friends- let them have it.
“How much was your ring/how many carats/any question having to do with the ring’s quality?”
Oh, it was not your business.
“Your parents are divorced, so you’ll probably get divorced too.”
Like everyone else, children of divorce learn from their parents mistakes. The statistics aren’t in their favor, but they’re just statistics. Every person, every relationship is different. Just because generations before have failed in marriage doesn’t mean this one won’t be a success.
“So I take it your dress isn’t white?”
Let’s stop pretending that the color of your dress reflects the status of your “purity.” Any modern bride knows that the color of the wedding dress has nothing to do with virginity and everything to do with how it’ll make her skin look in pictures. Get with the times, people.
“I hate weddings.”
Oh good, we’ll spare your Saturday night then and not invite you. No prob!
“So when are you having kids?”
Once again, no one’s business but the couple’s.
“You’re tying him down.”
He was the one who put a ring on it.
“You should…” “You have to…” “Traditionally…”
Chances are, a bride planning her wedding knows how she wants it. She may or may not care about traditions, and at the end of the day, it’s the couple’s wedding. They’re going to do what they want, so save your breath.
“I can’t believe you’re getting married, I remember when you–”
Let me stop you right there and remind you we all had wild college years. Let’s leave them there.
“Why isn’t so-and-so invited?”
There could be several reasons someone didn’t make the guest list, and exactly none of them are anyone else’s business. If the bride and groom have chosen not to invite someone you think should be there, they probably had a long conversation about it and have put thought into the decision. Leave it be.
“So, the wedding night… pretty big night, huh?”
What the bride and groom do after the wedding stays between the bride and groom. Come on. They’re married- have some respect.
“Your engagement is too long/too short.”
A couple’s engagement works for them. Period.
“Are you still going through with it?”
Hey, you, crazy. Don’t say this to a bride unless she’s just told you she isn’t going through with it AND you’re super close. It’s rude, thoughtless, and really shitty to say to a woman planning her wedding. Don’t be surprised if you meet a bride’s zilla side if you ask her this.
And perhaps worst of all, “The odds are 50/50.” First of all, that statistic is a projection over time, not a current figure. The current figure is actually closer to 25% for couples over 25. Secondly and most importantly, so what? If a doctor says you have a 50/50 chance of beating a disease, you’re going to fight. It’s not at all unthinkable for a couple in love to fight for love and get married in spite of the projection- so you really don’t need to bring this up unless you’re telling them you’re confident they’ll beat the odds.
A native Cape Codder with a desire to make the world a better place. Hippie soul born in the wrong decade. Into holistic living, gardening, travel/adventure, vegetarian and vegan cooking, and being as rad as humanly possible. Also, a dog person.
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